What Happens in Grief Counseling?
Are you considering grief counseling? Are you nervous or uncertain about whether to begin or anxious about what happens during grief counseling or therapy? If you are feeling this way, rest assured that your feelings are normal.
Why do I feel this way?
Most people feel nervous or hesitant about coming to their first counseling or therapy session, especially if they have never been to therapy before. Some people worry about becoming emotional, and others worry about what to expect. It makes sense. Everybody tends to be nervous or unsure when going to someplace new or when they are not sure what is going to happen.
With grief counseling, however, the apprehension can be a little higher, because we also feel vulnerable in different ways. For example, the simple act of seeing a counselor or therapist leaves us feeling vulnerable because we may be sharing details of our lives that may not exhibit our “best selves”; this can leave us feeling vulnerable to ourselves (by admitting or acknowledging our imperfections) and to the therapist. Try not to worry about the therapist - a good therapist will be empathetic, accepting, nonjudgmental, and will help you work through your feelings.
Here are additional examples of how we might feel vulnerable from loss and grief:
When something has happened that we did not want to happen, we become acutely aware that we cannot control everything. This is a hard reality to face because it means that things can happen that we do not want to happen, no matter how hard we try to prevent it. Or perhaps we feel like we should have tried harder or done something differently to prevent it. It can change our overall worldview and our view of ourselves. This leaves us feeling more vulnerable.
The idea of death and loss can lead some to experience “death anxiety” or an acute dread or worry about what death feels like and what it means to die. You may find yourself facing a spiritual or existential crisis. The certain has become uncertain, and you feel vulnerable.
Faced with the finality of death, we often find ourselves turning inward, confronted with our own mortality. We are all going to die eventually, and we do not know when. We cannot stop time and we only have this one life. Are we living how we want to live? Are we loving others how we want to love them? Answering these questions honestly also requires a certain amount of vulnerability.
Interestingly, all of these examples are really good reasons to seek grief counseling. Not only will you receive support and help with learning to cope with your loss, but you can also explore these other areas of uncertainty. Grief counseling may help you feel less vulnerable or help you learn to deal with the vulnerability.
Unfortunately, the reasons to come to therapy may be the same reasons people avoid seeking help altogether. It takes a lot of courage to start therapy and explore these and other feelings. Take comfort in knowing your therapist recognizes the courage it takes for you to be there.
Oftentimes, knowing what to expect in grief counseling can ease some of the nervousness and feelings of vulnerability.
What to Expect: Your First Grief Counseling Session
Although we cannot speak for other grief counseling services, we can tell you what happens at Grief Counseling & Therapeutic Services. Below is a basic outline, with some detail, of what you can expect to happen at your first session:
On the date of your first appointment, when you arrive at the office, I will be there and greet you kindly as you come in the door.
You will find that our office is peaceful with very few people around. (We value you and your time with us and so do our best to dedicate this time and space just to you.)
If you haven’t completed any paperwork yet, you will be offered a comfortable spot to complete your paperwork. If you choose to use insurance to help pay for your session, we will make a copy of your insurance card.
When you finish your paperwork, you will pay your insurance co-pay (if applicable) or pay for the session.
Next, I will invite you to a private comfortable space where we can talk. You may sit wherever you feel most comfortable. I will spend the first few minutes with you reviewing your paperwork, asking a few questions for clarification, discussing confidentiality and other important items, and answering any questions you might have.
The rest of the first session is dedicated to you and your story. You may feel a multitude of emotions. You may cry as your share your story, and it may take several sessions to tell it. All of this is okay. I will be there to help and support you.
Toward the end of your first session, we will start to create a plan that will be unique and specific to you and designed to meet your own personal needs and goals.
At the end of the session, we will choose a date and time for your next session. I will ask you to call me if you have questions between sessions or if you need additional support. This will be the end of your first session.
Taking the Next Step
In summary, we recognize that the thought of grief counseling may leave you feeling nervous or vulnerable. It takes courage to start therapy. However, those that do participate in therapy find the support and knowledge gained from therapy to be very beneficial. We hope that having information on what to expect in your first session of grief counseling provides you with some level of comfort. You may still experience feelings of vulnerability, but you may also gain a sense of safety in knowing what to expect.
If you still feel concerned or have additional questions, please call and talk with us. We are here for you and we want to help.
Respectfully,
Julie
